mommy life

There are moments when I wonder if I should go back to work, because I've been a stay at home mom (SAHM) for over 8 years now! It's been a long time since I've held a long time job, I had a couple part time things I did over the years after having my oldest, but none for more then 4/5 months. Literally, I haven't worked more then part time since 2007 and that's crazy to me! I loved working I loved having a place to be and a job to do with it's set schedule and plans.

You know what though? I LOVE being a SAHM too! I didn't think that I would at first I honestly couldn't picture my life as "just a mom" and still there are days I wonder if it's right for me. I think we all do! We all start feel like our kids are our life and that we don't have a life of our own. In a way it's true, at least for me. My life really does revolve around my kids and their schedules and most of my friends now are other moms who's kids are in my daughters class, or for my youngest kid close to her age that I've met the mom too. We both needed adult conversations, so we have playdates to let the littles play while we can have a conversation using "big words" and not "baby talk".

I have a few friends that like to remind me I'm not "just a mom" and I love them for that, but most days I do feel like mom is my title and life and there's not much else to it. Other days though, I'm sewing or typing or talking to an adult and I feel like I'm a separate entity from my kids and that's nice too. I'm dreading the next school year in a way because my youngest is going to start pre-k which means I will have 6.5 hours Monday through Friday where it's just ME! What the heck am I supposed to do with that much time? every day of the week?????

Honestly, I can think of a ton of stuff that I can do with that time and I'm sure I'll accomplish a lot more sewing during those hours, but I'll also miss my little one running around. I'll also miss her asking me to "just cuddle me all day" while we watch a movie together! Yeah, that one happened yesterday! I said  awe of course I'll cuddle, but it only lasted maybe 30 minutes. It's times like this that make that baby fever kick back in!!! Then I will have more mommy duties to take care of all day and no time to think about having 2 kids in school. Hubbies not on board with that idea though he thinks 2 girls is enough, so I guess I'll be filling the hours with sewing, maybe some cleaning and who knows what else. I've even thought about getting a job again, but yeah it's way to early to decide if that's going to happen or if I want it to happen.

For now I will enjoy the last few months of one on one time I get with my youngest while her sister is in school and we will have a fun summer before she starts her first year of school!!!